Your car needs those rims....much, much more than actual working parts that affect your driving.

i saw a car today with shiny spinner rims, and a super loud (although not quality) stereo system.  the funny thing is, it had no rear windshield, a dangling bumper, no muffler, and a partial door on the driver's side.  yes, that's right.  HALF a door.

so i wonder....

1) does the owner care that the car is falling apart?

2) does the owner really, really love the spinning rims and loud stereo?  because last time i looked, that was kind of 5 years ago.

3) does the owner intend to fix the car ever?  as in, maybe if you sold those stupid rims to a friend of yours, you could start to have a functioning car.

4) do any of his friends actually ride in the car?  "i'll catch a ride with someone else, dude.  your ride blows."

5) it must really suck to be you when it rains.  or maybe just all the time.

priorities, people.  intelligent folks have them.

xoxo and all that sappy crap,

mrs. awesome

You're dressed just like your daughter. How special.

ever notice that in more affluent areas, either the moms or the teenage daughters try way too hard?  either the mom is trying to dress like the daughter, and looks old and out-of-shape next to the teenager, or the daughter is trying to dress like the mom, and looks way too old and like she's ready for the street corner.  

i was in a nicer shopping area, and this look alike syndrome was everywhere.  my biggest pet peeve in all of the dressing alike is older women keeping the long, layered hair.  your daughter may look fabulous with beachy waves all the way down her back, but you do not.  as you get older, the hair thins, get colored, and generally ages you in a way that plastic surgery cannot correct.  it's even better when you top that off with an IDENTICAL outfit to your daughter's.  kudos to you for maintaining your figure, but despite the fact that you are able to shop at the same stores does not mean you SHOULD.  those same red skinny capris with wedges that are adorable on a 17yo are not adorable on a 48yo.....they're just sad, red skinny capris with wedges.  you are drawing a direct parallel with the same outfit, and guess what?  the younger person will always win that comparison. 

do yourself a favor, and dress appropriately for your age.  realize that you can still be fashionable without resorting to matching your teenager.  those days of fishnets and electric blue eyeshadow really ARE behind you. well, at least i'm praying they are.  i might laugh out loud in the street if they are not.

xoxo and all that sappy stuff,

mrs. awesome

Yoga pants are a sign of grooming laziness. Leggings are a sign of wishful thinking.

has anyone else noticed that yoga pants are the new black?  i know that it's not news, but why do women do this?  i suspect very few of us are actually coming or going from the gym.  let me tell you what i think when i see women dressed in yoga pants....i think, "wow.  rough day, was it? because you obviously didn't care enough about yourself to actually GET DRESSED."  i don't mean "get dressed" as in, all dressed up in fancypants.  i mean looking well-groomed. i mean looking like you showered, did your hair, applied at least minimal makeup, and are NOT wearing sneakers.

let's face it.  i stay home with my kids.  i homeschool my kids.  my everyday wardrobe includes mostly jeans.  but i draw the line at yoga pants.  i refuse to schlump around in knit pants with an expandable waistline, just because "they're comfortable".  no, i don't have it all together, all of the time.  not even close to half of the time.  however, nothing makes you feel crappier than going out in public looking crappy, too.  if you have the body of jessica biel, and the butt to match, then perhaps yoga pants are okay for you.  but for most women, soft stretchy pants just accentuate the bad.  when you wear real clothing (yes, even jeans), you can pick styles, colors, and patterns that are flattering on you.

and on a related topic, when did middle-aged women start downgrading from mere yoga pants to the ever-ugly legging?!? leggings are wishful thinking.  it's wishful thinking that they look good on you unless you're 15.  leggings are bad on nearly everyone that isn't 15.  please, please, PUH-LEASSSE stop wearing leggings if you are old enough to have children of your own.  it's called automatic disqualification.  get some real, grown-up clothes and step away from the leggings.


xoxo and all that sappy crap,

mrs. awesome

Yes, your life is SO busy. Oh. Wait, didn't you make it that way?

i'm getting a little tired of all the self-imposed stress that parents are whining about these days.  oh, you're SO stressed because little johnny has 2 baseball teams plus practice, and kaitlyn (and of course, the name must be spelled in some funky manner so as to distinguish it....is that a new requirement for all babies??) is on the competitive gymnastics team, and between THAT AND ALL THE OTHER THINGS YOU DO, you barely have time for your yoga class and manicure.  

what about the people who have actual real stress they can't get rid of?  i can barely stand to listen to people's fake issues (which are created by their choosing), when the real issues in life can't be changed or taken away.  i have very little tolerance for whining about mani/pedis, and yoga classes, and so on.  my very real problems aren't going away.  i can't choose to not deal with the things in front of me, like caring for two seniors (one disabled, and one with alzheimer's).  i'm not complaining; i know that i definitely have much to be thankful for.....but then, so do you. 

the next time i have to listen to one more person act like her fake problem is on equal par with a real problem, i'm just gonna let it fly.  yep, your life is SO hard.  whatever WILL you do?  i can't IMAGINE what you must be going through.  wait, you mean it's NOT a life or death situation?  okay, then i DON'T CARE.  have a nice day.

xoxo and all that sappy crap,

mrs. awesome

Yes, you are rude. All the time. It's why no one likes you.

isn't it funny how perpetually rude people are so quick to call out other people's faults, but can't even hear the slightest criticism without flying off the handle?  it's as if they have a magnifying glass for picking at others, but can't even handle anything but fake positivity themselves.  i have a name for that.  it's called your big frickin' giant friend INSECURITY.

you see, normal, well-adjusted folks who LIKE THEMSELVES don't have a problem being corrected.  no one loves being corrected, but a secure person can take it for what it's worth, and move on.  sometimes the criticism is even a real learning experience.

what you're doing, you rude little turd, is taking everything you don't like about yourself, magnifying it or projecting it onto others, and then opening your mouth and letting the stupid fly right out.  i think everyone knows someone like this.  and today, i am just about to give some rude right back. there are limits to what one person should have to endure from another's mouth.  i'm all for walking away, but every once in a while, you have to let people know.  and, by the way, it feels GREAT to tell someone off.  i recommend you do it periodically, to enliven the senses and clear the air.  just not, you know, to your boss.

xoxo and all that sappy crap,

mrs. awesome

You really need to move your sample stations, Costco, or I'm not responsible for any accidents that may occur.

i am not a sampler.  by that i mean, i hate and will not eat public samples....you know, the kind where the cute little old lady offers you a taste of microwaved burrito.  most of the samples are processed food that i wouldn't eat anyway, and i find the whole idea just kind of gross and unhygienic.  it's entirely possible that i feel this strongly because of my traumatic sample experience last year, but that's another story.

mostly, i wish that Costco would FREAKING MOVE the sample carts our of the main aisles and trafficways.  i went to Costco under protest today, because i knew it would be crazy.  1) it's a saturday, and it's always crazy on the weekend.  2) we're about to have a huge winter storm, which causes everyone to wig out and apparently, buy lots of bread.  3) murphy's law dictates that it will be crazy because i'm going with 3 children, and i'm feeling pissy about it.  

so amidst all this madness, Costco, in their great cleverness, decided to place sampling stations right in the middle of the refrigerated aisles.  who thought this was a good idea?!?  the aisle is barely wide enough for 2 carts to pass, and you have to take into account that people are opening doors to get items from the freezer.  it was a giant, huge traffic jam, and all because people were starving for a tiny sample of---get ready for it---pre-made, frozen jimmy dean sausage biscuits that had been heated in the microwave.  blech.  gross.  ewww.  if you're going to cause a major traffic jam, let it at least be for something good, like fresh fruit or ice cream.  who actually is dying to taste soggy sausage biscuit?  i seriously think people intentionally skip meals, and then have a hodge-podge of samples as a meal.  i would vomit if i ate that many different types of crap food.


it's not too much to ask that all the sample people be corralled to one area of the store.  the sample-givers and the sample-eaters can be slow, make mindless conversation, pig out on samples, block the aisle with their carts, let their children run wild, and in general, be obnoxious, FAR FAR FAR FAR--did i say far?--away from me.  because i am actually trying to shop, and checkout, and leave.

xoxo and all that sappy crap,

mrs. awesome