having once lived in florida for several years, i am well aware of the immodesty and general clothing sluttiness that goes on in warmer climates. what would be considered inappropriate in other states is considered conservative in warmer states. unfortunately, this concept has spread to the rest of the country. we are now a nation who dresses their tween-age daughters like streetwalkers. and apparently, lots of parents are okay with it.
i'll admit, i used to sneak my electric blue mascara (admit it--you're jealous!) out of the house and apply it at school, along with an 80s-sized dose of black eyeliner, ala Madonna. but despite wanting to dress differently from my parents' expectations, i never ventured into ho-ville. i just didn't want to wear laura ashley.
i have discovered that clothing retailers have adopted a new lingo for tween and teen clothing. here's a helpful guide to what that means in real life....say, with shorts.
"shorty" or "mini" shorts--translation: you will be able to see all my lady bits, even whilst standing. my parents probably bought me the condoms i'm carrying in my purse.
"midi" shorts--translation: i can point out to my parents that this length is not the shorty shorts, and therefore, more modest. my parents are fooled, but not the boys, because you can still see my lady bits when i sit down, or do anything but stand. these shorts are for the parents who are lying to themselves about what their daughter is doing on the side.
"bermuda" or "maxi" shorts--translation: my mother wants me to have no fun, EVER. and i am her miserable chicos mini-me.
i see a market niche waiting to be filled, somewhere between future hooker and old-lady-in-training. you're welcome.
xoxo and all that sappy crap,
mrs. awesome
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