Your children are so polite and well-behaved. Really, lady? It's called manners.

in our house, we are very serious about manners.  my husband is a southern boy, who always addressed his parents with "yes, ma'am/sir".  my house wasn't quite that rigid, but we did practice basic politeness and table manners.  if you were rude at the table, you dinner was OVER.  period.  you just ate the next morning.  so, suffice it to say, neither one of us can stand bad manners.  when our kids are addressed by anyone, adults or kids, we expect them to speak up and use appropriate language. 

we ate out tonight to celebrate the oldest's school victory (finishing a gi-hugey math book), and went to a favorite bbq restaurant.  we go there often, because the food is great, and it's close.  we were sitting next to 2 families, with one child each.  these toddlers were holy frickin' terrors.  i mean, yelling, sassing, throwing food, rolling on the floor, and running around the table.  so after they finished their dinner (which traumatized the entire restaurant), one of the moms came over to our table.

stranger mom:  i just wanted to tell you how very good and well-behaved your children are!  it's such a refreshing thing to see.

me:  thank you.  that's nice to hear.

stranger mom: i mean, i don't know HOW you do that.  your children must be very good naturally.  you know, if you had a strong-willed child like MINE, then, well, you know.....

me: i'm not really sure what you mean.

stranger mom:  what i mean is that, i'd really LIKE to have a a kid with such good manners, but he's just full of high spirits, and it's so hard!

me: you know, you've hit the nail on the head.  most parents don't teach their kids to have good manners because it is a lot of HARD WORK.  it absolutely is.  so if it's too hard for you, then keep on doing what you're doing.  have a good night.

what the hell, lady?!?  first of all, my kids are more strong-willed than literally any other kids we know.  the difference is that we viewed it as important, spent the time, and worked hard with our kids.  we didn't wave a magic "good behavior in public" wand, and our kids weren't born with innate politeness.  it was work.  just like all the rest of parenting.  don't expect awesome results when you do no work.  at the rate you and your kids are going, it's gonna be a long 18 years for you, lady.

xoxo and all that sappy crap,

mrs. awesome

I don't think that's a look, or I didn't know they made tuxedos like that.

we recently went to the symphony.  no, we're not classical music snobs, but we do enjoy almost all music.  one of my favorite bands was playing with the symphony, and the hubs bought me tickets.  this band is not exactly the type of fare that the average symphony goer probably listens to on a regular basis. so, it was an interesting hybrid of symphony regulars, and the band's regulars.

we dressed in what i would deem "bohemian meets hipster", and off we went. because there was a such a strange mixture of folks, the outfits were unbelievable.  if i could have done it surreptitiously, i would have taken MANY, MANY pictures.  some of my favorites were:

4) older lady meets Wiccan poncho meets light-up hooker shoes

3) circus ringmaster tophat meets zebra jacket meets hightop air jordans

2) plump middle-aged lady meets leggings meets short cowboy boots meets cropped t-shirt

1) ANNNND my personal favorite was old dude meets tuxedo jacket, white shirt, and bow tie meets pleated brown khakis meets clarks comfort shoes

enjoy the mental picture and try to keep the food down.

xoxo and all that sappy crap,

mrs. awesome

If I could kill you through the phone line, I would totally send death rays.

pretty much, not a day goes by that i don't want to up and kill someone idiotic on the other end of the phone line.  sometimes, i don't think the person thinks about what he/she is saying.....annnnnd, sometimes, the person really IS that stupid.

the furnace needed to be fixed, as it wasn't maintaining the set temperature.  i spoke to several repair guys, but my favorite was this one:

repair guy: well, ma'am, what you need to do is turn up the heat in increments.

me: pardon?

repair guy: you need to turn it up, and then when it reaches the set temperature, turn it up again until you get the temp you want.

me:  so you're suggesting that if i set the thermostat in tiny increments, the furnace will magically keep up?

repair guy:  that's exactly what i'm saying.

me:  you're an idiot.  good-bye.  

i don't know about you, but in my world, taking something that's broken and trying to make it work in small time periods DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT IT'S BROKEN.  death rays, people, death rays.  if i had 'em, i would've used 'em.


xoxo and all that sappy crap,

mrs. awesome